Chickadee’s Journey – Book Tour and Giveaway

The past few months of binge drinking have ravaged my body. My frame is too thin. I’m pale with dark circles around my once captivating, blue eyes. The skin hangs off my sharp, round cheekbones. My hair, still bundled in a nest, has lost its luster. 

I wince at the woman staring back at me.  

It’s my mother. 

The visual shock, paired with the present nausea causes my knees to buckle. My head is swimming, and I’m sure that I’m about to throw up, blackout, or both. So, I sit down and press my back against the cold tile next to the toilet trying to ignore the steady stream of tears. I struggle to catch my breath, but I only end up sobbing harder. 

I want to scream at my mother, to ask her why. Why she threw her entire life away? I want to ask her why she wasn’t enough. Mostly, I want to erase the last couple of years because I know my own daughters will have similar questions. 

My stomach is still in knots, and I’m blindsided by the piercing headache that comes on without warning. I reach for my shoulder bag in search for a new bottle of Excedrin. My hands are shaking, and I’m only able to grab the corner of the bag, sending the contents reeling all over the bathroom floor. 

I scramble to pick up the fallen items, and the task takes my mind off of the queasiness. I’m finally able to move around with ease, and I gather up the bag, tossing in the toiletries until everything is put away. 

I’m careful to check all the pockets, and I slip my hand down into the front zipper. Then the side, then the other. In the last pocket, I find a single slip of paper. I don’t even have to think about it. 

I know it’s another letter from Jansen, and I brace myself against the wall as I begin to read. 

E, 

You’re upstairs sleeping right now. You’ve been through so much over the last 24 hours, that most people would give up, but not you. Emma, I woke up so in love with you today. I knew you were the only one for me long before you fell into my life. Hell, it’s like my heart was created for you, not for me. I know this because without you, my world would cease to exist. I don’t know how I’m going to make it without you. Hurry home! 

I love you! 

Love, 

1. J.

The crying is getting ridiculous. My face is taut from the salty tears, and my lips are swollen. After being numb for so many years, my body is in shock. Every nerve has been hit in a matter of days.