PROLOGUE 

Olivia’s head was bowed, and her neck straining in its awkward position. She had plaited her hair neatly, in a half-crown at the top of her head, at her mother’s insistence. Olivia was already regretting the decision. The weather was drizzling, the mist cool on her flushed skin, but she had no protection from its light drops. 

Nor did she have any shield from the flurry of mourners. 

Her mother was standing at the front, clad in a black suit and skirt and black boots. Her face, starting to line with age, was stone cold and remote. Her father was standing at her side, and like Olivia, he was looking at the floor. He looked hunched and strangely small. 

The casket, black and shiny, was lowered slowly into the ground. 

The priest was speaking, but his words were wrong. He was talking about Olivia’s grandmother like someone who had never met her before; he called her a bright and radiant light, kind and gentle and generous. She had not been any of those things, but Olivia had loved her anyway. She had been strong and resilient and a force of nature. She had advocated for Olivia when nobody else had – attending every school event when her parents could not. Her grandmother had stayed at the Pembroke Estate with her while her parents were travelling for work, assisting with schoolwork and answering Olivia’s many questions. She was always supportive and never judging. She always made time for her.

But now she was gone…

And Olivia had never felt so alone. The distance between her and parents was like a chasm, so far and almost unbreachable. Olivia blamed them for their part in her grandmother’s death – for all that they had done to her – and it was a thought, a feeling, that she could not shake. If they had not sent her away, maybe she’d alive… maybe she would still be with Olivia. She did not know what to do now. 

How could her grandmother leave her? She didn’t understand. What had seen done wrong? Olivia wanted to cry, the conflicting emotions bubbling beneath her skin. She felt trapped, like she was suffocating under a black cloud that only she could see.

After all, her mother was always watching – as soon as the thought crossed Olivia’s mind, her mother turned towards her, reaching, as though she hadn’t done anything wrong. Olivia swallowed and backed away. 

“Don’t let this distract you, Olivia,” said her mother, her quiet voice loud in the oppressive silence. Olivia jerked slightly, unable to suppress the flinch. She did not reply.

Her mother barrelled on. “This is the most important year for you,” she continued, oblivious to Olivia’s thoughts and feelings, as always. “You could achieve anything.”

In that moment, Olivia did not care.

Her grandmother was not coming back.